Missing you tonight

When am I gonna get past this?

It hurts. How did we get here? What we shared has now turned into dust. You don't give a shit whether I turn up or not. I feel really sad tonight. Empty. Cheated. Illusion. Lies. Wasn't I a good girlfriend? Why do you think that way of me? I told you to be true to yourself and don't string me along. You weren't sure, indecisive and led me on further.

I don't even know what to think anymore. I shouldn't. I believe I tried to be the best but it wasn't enough. While I'm writing this, you're prolly sowing your oats. I was a fool. I saw the red flags but denied their existence.

You never truly cared about me. It just fucking hurts sometimes. Now when I think of you, it's an image of a gigantic pencil impaling your face, over and over again.

Nothing. I'm nothing to you.